He's home...He's home!

yay! He is here!!

He is finally home!! :) I am so so so happy! Pastor Bill picked him up around noon Tuesday, took him to lunch, and then to the church to fill out paperwork for a new job. I waited anxiously to see him. He was supposed to be in town earlier so I set up a "while meagan is at work" basket of entertainment and food, but he was done around 5 when I got off. I was so anxious to see my Timothy ALL DAY! I was wondering when he was going to be in town and when I would see him. When he was finally done with everything pastor Bill dropped him off at my office. When I saw the truck pull up my heart leaped! I was so so so excited. I walked outside and I saw the truck door fling open and Tim came running to me. He gave me the biggest and best hug I ever received. I was at a loss for words when I saw him. All I could say was "thank you" over and over again to pastor bill. I know he got a kick out of that. I was shaking when I saw him because it was just so overwhelming the emotions I was feeling. WOW! It is just so crazy to me that he is now home. I get excited everytime I remember that...and then I have to remind myself that it is not weird. I mean it is going to take some getting used to being with him again...in person. I am so so so glad he is back. We can pick up, dust off our shoulders, and move on. We have had to make many decisions lately and that can be a little overwhelming. Now it is time to really focus on what the Lord wants us to do and what we need to do to get where we are going. The talks can be pretty intense, not in a bad way, reality just hits when you discuss matters like finances, living situations, future plans, etc. It is not black and white or cut and dry. I guess that is always a part of growing up. You have to make big decisions like that. With the wedding being a little less than 6 months away it seems to be crunch time. Everything will be ok though. I am not worried. My God is bigger than I am and he already has a plan laid out for us. No need to worry.

24-hours away...

I am SO excited!!!!!!

My Timothy Kyle is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhh! I am so happy. When he called me yesterday to tell me that he will be home on Tuesday, it took EVERYTHING in my power not to cry, squeal, and jump on my bed in excitement! I am so glad that today is the last day that I will have to go without being in contact with my beloved. wahoo! I guess starting Thursday, because of course I will blog about his arrival, this will become my wedding blog again. I really do not think I have ever been so excited in my entire life. I went to the store on my lunch break today to get a few things for his arrival. I went to Border's and got his favorite Muscle Magazine and then I went to target to get him a new pair of pj pants, some socks, a shirt, and then some candy. He told me on the phone that he has been craving chocolate, which is weird, so I got him a multi pack of snickers and twix. He mentioned both on the phone. Now after work I just need to go to Walmart and get something for him to eat for lunch tomorrow, a card, a bag and some underwear. He is heading straight to my house after Pastor Bill picks him up tomorrow so I want him to be in new, clean, and comfortable clothes. As soon as I get off, however, I will go and get my nails done because Tim loves when they are done and then head home and get my room ready. I am just so excited. I really hope today and the work day tomorrow fly by!! I am so happy to see the love of my life again. Now he can come home and we can move on. I cannot believe we have 6 1/2 months left until we get married! Time sure does fly.

Valentines weekend...

Today is my first, and hopefully last, Valentines day without my Timothy. I miss him so much every day...but the days like today when LOVE is shouted from the roof tops that makes me miss him so much more. I know he is lonely today and it makes

me very sad. I atleast have those who love and support us here

beside me. He has no one. I hate that. I hate knowing he is anything but happy. I cannot wait for him to get home. I cannot wait to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him face to face how much I missed him and love him. That day should be coming on Tuesday or Wednesday! I cannot wait. This weekend has been pretty great. I got snowed in at the Marlette's house on Friday, along with the Marlette's, Rachel, Trey and Robert. We had a pretty good time playing in the snow. I was terrified to drive after my car kept sliding on the ice. Tim actually called me when I was stopped at a red light, freaking out, and calmed me down enough to make it to the Marlettes. It was not bad driving near my house but the closer I got to their house the more dangerous it got and there was no way I was turning around. It was really good to catch up with Rachel too. She is such a doll. Saturday, I woke up around 6:30 and Micah came strolling down the stairs (I slept on the couch), bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:45. He was so excited about how much snow we got! IN GEORGIA! It was wonderful. Pastor Bill cooked us a really good breakfast and we headed back out to play in the snow before it melted. When we made it back in we watched The Chronicles of Narnia, but for some reason I was too anxious to really watch it. Because I did not know I would be stuck at the Marlette's house I did not bring any of my things with me so my phone died. I think I was anxious because I thought that if Tim got the opportunity to call he would not get ahold of me because my phone was dead. Then I started thinking of how lonely he must be...so I got myself worked up over nothing. When I left I went and got a few valetines for my family and then headed on home. When I finally got my phone charged, Tim called like 5 minuted later. Good timing. He is trusting the Lord, but I can tell that being around non-belivers 24-7 is starting to drain him. He still knows why he is there and is still focused, but I can tell he is struggling because he has no one there he can relate to or someone that has the same values as him. I couldn't imagine how spiritually draining that can be. He is standing firm though and not backing down any time he gets the chance to share the gospel. It was wonderful talking to him though. He said that he gets recharged when he hears my voice on the other end of the phone. That is so comforting to me. I really do adore that man and love him so much. I do not know where the Lord is leading us but I am so confident that I have the most amazing man walking beside me through it all. I do not know how everything is going to pan out when he gets back but I cannot wait to see what the Lord is going to do. The Lord has been so good to us. He saved us, the changed us, he showed us grace and mercy, he brought us together, and he is showing us where he wants us to go. I am so glad to know that. I love my Lord and my Timbo. Happy Valentines Day!

the holding cell

Tim is coming home soon!!

Today is a big day for Tim! He signed the last of his papers yesterday and will be moved to the "holding cell" today, where the guys who are shipping home stay. We are expecting him to be home on Wednesday and we are so excited. It would probably be sooner if Monday was not a holiday...but hey...he is getting paid. In the holding cell they are unable to use their cell phones which stinks but it is ok, he can use that crappy pay phone. He has been able to find a decent one the last couple of times...and by decent I mean that static only comes every three minutes to the usual every one minute. God has been really merciful to us and for that I am so thankful. I am so glad that the Lord is who He says He is...and because He is who He says He is everything else shouldn't matter. If HE is, then I don't have to worry about any of his promises or his guidance or anything. The name itself gives me comfort, because if I believe He is who He says He is, then I can believe everything else. That makes my heart very happy. I finally got a good nights rest last night... I was actually asleep before 9pm. WOW! I don't think I have ever been to bed that early, unless I was a child or I was sick. It felt really good to wake up on my own this morning and to not be rushed. I enjoyed going to the Valentines Dinner with my date last night, the coolest 9 year old around, Micah Marlette and his family! They are such wonderful people! I adore that family so much. I am so glad that Tim has them for the support that he needs. That means so much. The Lord really has blessed us at Curtis Baptist. The people are lovely and the preaching is solid. What more can you ask for? I do wish we could build up a younger adult group...all in my prayers though. The Lord will work and use us where he wants us. I cannot believe it is almost midway through February! ah. 6 1/2 months until I am Mrs. Cross! whoop whoop! :)

oh my lanta...

So, this week has been pretty down. I have been getting sick and I have been extremely exhausted. I haven't even spent time in the gym or really watched what I have eaten. I need to get back into that mindset and remember why I am doing this. I feel this cold coming on and today it has gotten pretty bad. My throat is swollen, my lymph nodes are swollen, I have a headache and my ears hurt. Typical cold for me. I have been trying to make the best of it and try to get better...but it really is taking it out of me. I have been so exhausted! Tim is getting over his sickness...kind of funny we both are sick right now and we do not have eachother to help take care of us. I spoke with him a little yesterday, his spirits are really low right now because he is surrounded by spiritually dead people. It has drained him to be around them because their words are not wholesome, uplifting, or even courteous. They only talk about vile and disgusting things. He doesn't really have anyone to talk to (because of what they talk about) and he has not eaten well at all. He eats breakfast and then 2 grilled cheese for lunch and 2 grilled cheese for dinner. For a man...that is NOT a lot! Poor thing. He did however sign his discharge form yesterday, so he should get moved to the ship out bunk early next week, and be home by friday of next week. Fingers crossed! Hopefully he will be home soon. We have both been a little consumed with worry...but we are trusting the Lord. How hard it can be to walk out the faith we profess. We know God is working for our benefit and he will provide. It is just so hard trusting that sometime. I do trust it though. God has only been good to us and he will continue. Prayers needed though for the two of us this time because we are worried and sick. All is well though. :)

Bridesmaid dinner! :)

Bridesmaid Dinner

Finally! February 6,2010 came. It seems like time has flown by since I sent out the invitations for my party. It was really exciting to see all of my favorite girls, minus one, Jennifer, for my bridesmaid dinner. Saturday was insanely busy and I am super exhausted now. It started at 5am studying with my sister for our Sociology test, then we had to take the test, then off to the Augusta Care Pregnancy Center to volunteer, followed by lunch, getting flowers, heading home, getting everything ready, taking a shower, off to David's Bridal...and then the dinner. It did not take long to pick out the dresses... I already kind of knew what I wanted. Below are the colors.

My Sister and Rose
These are not the dresses they will be wearing, but those are the colors. My sisters will be wearing the lighter blue with the navy sash and my bridesmaids will be wearing the navy with the light blue sash. It is crazy to see how fast time is going by...but I am super eager and excited for my wedding day in less than 7 months.

The cake table, sherbert bowls, and the cookies Kim made!
I am just really glad to have the friends that I do! My Maid of Honor Rose really went above and beyond! She made the cake (picture above), which was beautiful and yummy, the orange sherbert bowls, my mother and my bows, dealt with the florist for me, and helped with setup. Kim was also a big help! She brought the chair covers, made the adorable cookies (pictured above), and took pictures for the evening! My mom was also super awesome! She went above and beyond with the cleaning and the food preparation and purchase. It really was a wonderful day and I am so glad my friends could spend it with me. It could not have been more beautiful and memorable! What a good start to the wedding festivities! Also, I was really sad Jen could not be there...but her mom helped me out a lot with some of the serving plates.
The Lord has really blessed me with such wonderful friends and a wonderful family! I am so glad that people really did care about me and want to be there for me. It helped keep my mind off of "the real world." I just really enjoyed seeing my girls. Life has been so busy that I feel like it has been harder to find the time...but I know I need to. I am glad they are supportive and understanding.



Me,My Mom & Sisters, Me & Rose my maid of honor, the bow Rose made for me
I got to speak to Tim this weekend. He is in need of your prayers. Things are looking pretty bleak and he is just ready to come home. He had to go to the ER last night because he has gotten pretty sick. He should be ok soon though. He had about 5 guys at his Bible Study yesterday (Praise the Lord) and he went over some scriptures in John, what it means to be saved, and the bridge diagram. Please pray for these men there. Overall, life is good! Cannot wait to see what else the Lord is going to do!

I will not fear the path before me...

"Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him...The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them." Psalm 25:12; 14

I am glad to say that I got to hear from my Timothy last night. Well, not really hear...the pay phones they can use are HORRIBLE and you can't understand them. It sounds like someone who has really bad signal on a cell phone. I got to talk to him though for about 45 minutes last night. 15 of it I could understand. The Lord really is doing some amazing things. Since I talked to him last on Sunday he has been able to continue to share the gospel. He told me of 4 guys that are really interested and even went and bought Bibles. That makes my heart leap with excitement to see that the Lord is working in these men's hearts and they want to understand and grasp on to it. They want to have what Tim has. On Monday they are planning on meeting up for a Bible study and I cannot wait to hear about what the Lord is doing. I am just so overly joyed to see him doing what he was purposed for and to see how the Lord is using him. It is great to see how a situation that could seem so crappy (getting discharged...being stuck in barracks for a month...cant see friends or family...worrying about a job when he gets home...etc) into something so wonderful. That is the thing....it was wonderful all along. The Lord wanted Tim there to share the gospel...we just thought he was there to be a soldier. It is amazing to see how as humans we can limit so much because we just do not know why the Lord is doing what he is doing. We are so extremely excited to see where the Lord is taking us and right now it is time to be still and follow him. I am probably the hardest person to be still, but I know my Lord is working and I need to follow him. I need a willing spirit and I am ready for whatever His will is. There are big decisions for us to make coming up and I pray for the Lord's guidance and wisdom to follow his will regardless of mine. He is good. His path is right and I want to follow him always.I will not fear the world, but I will follow Christ to where he has me, I will fear Him.

Grace Abounds

I wish my heart was as calm as this picture!

Woke up today wondering. I haven't heard from Tim since Sunday, which is not too long, but he had an appointment that was very important on Monday. I am just so curious to what is going on. I knew i needed to get out of bed and start my day, but I couldnt...just ten minutes longer. I am trying not to worry but I am. I know God is in control, but being the "go getter" I am, it is very hard to just sit back and wait. I miss Tim, but I know why he is there, so I am waiting for the Lord's time. My studies this week will be in Psalm 27 so that should grant me some comfort that no matter what I did, who I am, where I am from, the Lord is still faithful. The verse I am trying to remember this week is,

"Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek His face!" Your face Lord I will seek." Psalm 27: 7-8

I wonder though, why is that verse so hard lived? Why is it so much easier to worry and pace around than to seek HIS face. I think once again it is those ignorant little things called pride and fear. Why is it that we honestly think we can do this better? Why do we think that he is not going to work? I have always struggled in understanding grace. Growing up we worked for what we got and my dad has always stressed that and it is something that I cherish and I am thankful for. I know that the Lord gives gracefully, mercifully, and without reproof. So, who am I to think that he would do that for everyone but me? I am his child, so not by a long shot. I do not want to do that. I want to show obediance and humility to let the Lord work in the way he pleases. When my flesh may fail he will not fail me. I pray today brings on good things and a peace from the Lord. I really need that peace today!

Tim's Basic Mission Field

The past 3 days have been pretty tough with trying to figure out where to go from here. The Lord opened so many doors to close them. I am so thankful though. I find at times that I get scared worrying about finances and what are we going to do...we are getting married in 7 months! I am then brought to question...why am I worrying? That is not my worry to have. Do I trust God? Of course! So, I am comforted to see that the Lord has provided strength that I do not have. I just have to battle my flesh daily and surrender it to Christ. That really is freeing. It seems like Tim and I have been given fresh eyes. We do not look at the situation as though we are in trouble or that God is not working. We see the Lord's plan and will is for all of this to happen and I am overjoyed by that. The best part is that he is there doing the Lords will and his motivations are evident. Tim has been placed in barracks with very hurting and broken men. They all were discharged medically and have all lost their dreams of being a soldier in the United States Army. Tim has looked at this as an opportunity to share the gospel and it has been amazing how the Lord has used him. The first night there they were placed in a hotel and he was able to share the gospel with his roomate for a couple of hours, how exciting. Each day on he has been able to share the gospel. Yesterday was an amazing day though. Some guys were talking about politics and Tim got in the conversation and before he knew it it turned into a gospel conversation. He told me that he did not know how it happened but for almost 2 hours he was able to share the gospel with the WHOLE platoon! One guy was not happy about it and told Tim to shut up. Tim said, "man, I have sat here all week listening to your vulgar talk, you are not going to get me to stop sharing the gospel." GO TIM! After the conversation he had to go to formation and his battle buddy was that same man that flat out rejected hearing the gospel. Tim got to hear some of his story and let him know that he would be praying for him. I was so excited to see what God was doing over there. He sent Tim there for a reason, as we all know, and we knew that was where he was supposed to go, we just did not know why he was sent there. We thought he was sent to be a soldier but he was not...he was sent to share the gospel! How exciting. Last night while reading the Bible he said another man came up to him because he wanted to know more about the gospel and he was able to share with him and pray for him. I am just so elated to see the Lord working! I am glad to see that in this circumstance and time of uncertainty of what the Lord will do, it is evident that he is working. I am so proud to be getting married to a man that loves the Lord so much. I am so glad that I have a God like I do. That no matter how hard we look we can never truly see the big picture of what he is doing. I told Tim to quit looking inward but look outward...and look at what the Lord is doing. Please be in prayer for all of these men and for Tim. It has been so exciting to see the Lord work. I do not know what we are going to do when he gets back but I am not scared. I see the Lord has it all under control and I am content waiting to see how he is going to work. I love my God and my Tim.