God is so faithful...

Where to start!! The Lord has been so gracious to me and Tim and for that I am more than thankful! What an amazing God we serve. My car COMPLETELY died two weeks ago...thankfull I was not driving it when it happened. I had to leave work to go get Tim who was using it at the time. That was the last time the ghetto clunker was ever driven. I was starting to get really stressed because Tim did not have a job and we could NOT afford a car payment. I prayed and waitied. I went out of town for work last Sunday and I got home Friday. I was so excited to hear while I was gone that Tim got a job!! Wahoo and he started on Friday. Another gracious blessing from my Lord. I arrived home and got to see my daddy who is in town until March 25th. YAY! Tim called on Saturday with the news that his grandfather died. It has been really hard on the family. We went to Macen's first belt testing in Karate Saturday afternoon and then we got a call from his parents to see if we would like to do dinner and of course we said yes. In the car on the way Tim's parents explained how they were going to give me his grandfather's car and get it fixed up so it is in like new condition and they are going to fix the problems on Tim's car! WOW! What an amazing gift from them! That saved us well over $10,000 that we did not have. I am so thankful to have a Lord who provides and even though I do not deserve it he willingly gives. I know my God is an amazing God who will always provide for his children. I am so glad. Last week was not good for me food wise, I did however become an insurance agent! whoop whoop! Go me! I started back on with my weight loss plan today. :) I hope this week turns out to be just as amazing as this past weekend! I love my Lord!! :)

Welcome Back Meagan...

So long ghetto mobile...you will be missed!

I know it has been a while since I have been on the blog, but I am BACK! Life has been really hectic lately and it has taken everything in my power not to freak out! Tim got back and we are still having trouble finding him a job and then yesterday my car died...like completely. No bringing it back to life...no nothing! That made matters a little more difficult but I know God is working through this. It is insane to think how life seemed so wonderful just before Christmas and since then it has been one thing after another. I feel like I am super stressed. To top it all off it is finals week...oh my lanta! Well, enough complaning...it is good to have this blog where I can just go and get out all of my worries and frustrations. Why is it so hard in times like these to trust the Lord? Why does life seem to get in the way of obediance and discipline? I am tired of letting it. How can I be trusting the Lord if all I am doing is worrying about how he is going to do what he says he is going to do? The same God that saved me at the age of 19, and changed me from a rebellious, lost and mean girl, to someone who no longer desires the way of the world, why can it be so hard to trust even when his deeds and love are staring me in the face? I know he is amazing and I have seen what he has done and what he has allowed. He has changed me and even though I am flawed and broken, he still sustains my everything, and he still is guiding me to what he wants. I guess the waiting is the hardest. I am not super worried, I just get moments where it is like...really!? Are you serious? Who am I to even question what he is doing though? He is a God who knows all and he is a God who is far greater than I will or can ever be. I am trusting the Lord, and I am praying that his timing will be soon. I am also praying for patience in this time, to continue to trust him, day by day. I know he will not fail me. I have continued working out. I started back cycling this week...it feels wonderful to be back! :) I love it. I need to keep focused on my goals. I lost 7 more pounds... I can do better. I can lose more. :)

He's home...He's home!

yay! He is here!!

He is finally home!! :) I am so so so happy! Pastor Bill picked him up around noon Tuesday, took him to lunch, and then to the church to fill out paperwork for a new job. I waited anxiously to see him. He was supposed to be in town earlier so I set up a "while meagan is at work" basket of entertainment and food, but he was done around 5 when I got off. I was so anxious to see my Timothy ALL DAY! I was wondering when he was going to be in town and when I would see him. When he was finally done with everything pastor Bill dropped him off at my office. When I saw the truck pull up my heart leaped! I was so so so excited. I walked outside and I saw the truck door fling open and Tim came running to me. He gave me the biggest and best hug I ever received. I was at a loss for words when I saw him. All I could say was "thank you" over and over again to pastor bill. I know he got a kick out of that. I was shaking when I saw him because it was just so overwhelming the emotions I was feeling. WOW! It is just so crazy to me that he is now home. I get excited everytime I remember that...and then I have to remind myself that it is not weird. I mean it is going to take some getting used to being with him again...in person. I am so so so glad he is back. We can pick up, dust off our shoulders, and move on. We have had to make many decisions lately and that can be a little overwhelming. Now it is time to really focus on what the Lord wants us to do and what we need to do to get where we are going. The talks can be pretty intense, not in a bad way, reality just hits when you discuss matters like finances, living situations, future plans, etc. It is not black and white or cut and dry. I guess that is always a part of growing up. You have to make big decisions like that. With the wedding being a little less than 6 months away it seems to be crunch time. Everything will be ok though. I am not worried. My God is bigger than I am and he already has a plan laid out for us. No need to worry.

24-hours away...

I am SO excited!!!!!!

My Timothy Kyle is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhh! I am so happy. When he called me yesterday to tell me that he will be home on Tuesday, it took EVERYTHING in my power not to cry, squeal, and jump on my bed in excitement! I am so glad that today is the last day that I will have to go without being in contact with my beloved. wahoo! I guess starting Thursday, because of course I will blog about his arrival, this will become my wedding blog again. I really do not think I have ever been so excited in my entire life. I went to the store on my lunch break today to get a few things for his arrival. I went to Border's and got his favorite Muscle Magazine and then I went to target to get him a new pair of pj pants, some socks, a shirt, and then some candy. He told me on the phone that he has been craving chocolate, which is weird, so I got him a multi pack of snickers and twix. He mentioned both on the phone. Now after work I just need to go to Walmart and get something for him to eat for lunch tomorrow, a card, a bag and some underwear. He is heading straight to my house after Pastor Bill picks him up tomorrow so I want him to be in new, clean, and comfortable clothes. As soon as I get off, however, I will go and get my nails done because Tim loves when they are done and then head home and get my room ready. I am just so excited. I really hope today and the work day tomorrow fly by!! I am so happy to see the love of my life again. Now he can come home and we can move on. I cannot believe we have 6 1/2 months left until we get married! Time sure does fly.

Valentines weekend...

Today is my first, and hopefully last, Valentines day without my Timothy. I miss him so much every day...but the days like today when LOVE is shouted from the roof tops that makes me miss him so much more. I know he is lonely today and it makes

me very sad. I atleast have those who love and support us here

beside me. He has no one. I hate that. I hate knowing he is anything but happy. I cannot wait for him to get home. I cannot wait to wrap my arms around his neck and tell him face to face how much I missed him and love him. That day should be coming on Tuesday or Wednesday! I cannot wait. This weekend has been pretty great. I got snowed in at the Marlette's house on Friday, along with the Marlette's, Rachel, Trey and Robert. We had a pretty good time playing in the snow. I was terrified to drive after my car kept sliding on the ice. Tim actually called me when I was stopped at a red light, freaking out, and calmed me down enough to make it to the Marlettes. It was not bad driving near my house but the closer I got to their house the more dangerous it got and there was no way I was turning around. It was really good to catch up with Rachel too. She is such a doll. Saturday, I woke up around 6:30 and Micah came strolling down the stairs (I slept on the couch), bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:45. He was so excited about how much snow we got! IN GEORGIA! It was wonderful. Pastor Bill cooked us a really good breakfast and we headed back out to play in the snow before it melted. When we made it back in we watched The Chronicles of Narnia, but for some reason I was too anxious to really watch it. Because I did not know I would be stuck at the Marlette's house I did not bring any of my things with me so my phone died. I think I was anxious because I thought that if Tim got the opportunity to call he would not get ahold of me because my phone was dead. Then I started thinking of how lonely he must be...so I got myself worked up over nothing. When I left I went and got a few valetines for my family and then headed on home. When I finally got my phone charged, Tim called like 5 minuted later. Good timing. He is trusting the Lord, but I can tell that being around non-belivers 24-7 is starting to drain him. He still knows why he is there and is still focused, but I can tell he is struggling because he has no one there he can relate to or someone that has the same values as him. I couldn't imagine how spiritually draining that can be. He is standing firm though and not backing down any time he gets the chance to share the gospel. It was wonderful talking to him though. He said that he gets recharged when he hears my voice on the other end of the phone. That is so comforting to me. I really do adore that man and love him so much. I do not know where the Lord is leading us but I am so confident that I have the most amazing man walking beside me through it all. I do not know how everything is going to pan out when he gets back but I cannot wait to see what the Lord is going to do. The Lord has been so good to us. He saved us, the changed us, he showed us grace and mercy, he brought us together, and he is showing us where he wants us to go. I am so glad to know that. I love my Lord and my Timbo. Happy Valentines Day!

the holding cell

Tim is coming home soon!!

Today is a big day for Tim! He signed the last of his papers yesterday and will be moved to the "holding cell" today, where the guys who are shipping home stay. We are expecting him to be home on Wednesday and we are so excited. It would probably be sooner if Monday was not a holiday...but hey...he is getting paid. In the holding cell they are unable to use their cell phones which stinks but it is ok, he can use that crappy pay phone. He has been able to find a decent one the last couple of times...and by decent I mean that static only comes every three minutes to the usual every one minute. God has been really merciful to us and for that I am so thankful. I am so glad that the Lord is who He says He is...and because He is who He says He is everything else shouldn't matter. If HE is, then I don't have to worry about any of his promises or his guidance or anything. The name itself gives me comfort, because if I believe He is who He says He is, then I can believe everything else. That makes my heart very happy. I finally got a good nights rest last night... I was actually asleep before 9pm. WOW! I don't think I have ever been to bed that early, unless I was a child or I was sick. It felt really good to wake up on my own this morning and to not be rushed. I enjoyed going to the Valentines Dinner with my date last night, the coolest 9 year old around, Micah Marlette and his family! They are such wonderful people! I adore that family so much. I am so glad that Tim has them for the support that he needs. That means so much. The Lord really has blessed us at Curtis Baptist. The people are lovely and the preaching is solid. What more can you ask for? I do wish we could build up a younger adult group...all in my prayers though. The Lord will work and use us where he wants us. I cannot believe it is almost midway through February! ah. 6 1/2 months until I am Mrs. Cross! whoop whoop! :)

oh my lanta...

So, this week has been pretty down. I have been getting sick and I have been extremely exhausted. I haven't even spent time in the gym or really watched what I have eaten. I need to get back into that mindset and remember why I am doing this. I feel this cold coming on and today it has gotten pretty bad. My throat is swollen, my lymph nodes are swollen, I have a headache and my ears hurt. Typical cold for me. I have been trying to make the best of it and try to get better...but it really is taking it out of me. I have been so exhausted! Tim is getting over his sickness...kind of funny we both are sick right now and we do not have eachother to help take care of us. I spoke with him a little yesterday, his spirits are really low right now because he is surrounded by spiritually dead people. It has drained him to be around them because their words are not wholesome, uplifting, or even courteous. They only talk about vile and disgusting things. He doesn't really have anyone to talk to (because of what they talk about) and he has not eaten well at all. He eats breakfast and then 2 grilled cheese for lunch and 2 grilled cheese for dinner. For a man...that is NOT a lot! Poor thing. He did however sign his discharge form yesterday, so he should get moved to the ship out bunk early next week, and be home by friday of next week. Fingers crossed! Hopefully he will be home soon. We have both been a little consumed with worry...but we are trusting the Lord. How hard it can be to walk out the faith we profess. We know God is working for our benefit and he will provide. It is just so hard trusting that sometime. I do trust it though. God has only been good to us and he will continue. Prayers needed though for the two of us this time because we are worried and sick. All is well though. :)